Facebook keeps rejecting my ad for the sensuality workshop, basically saying it’s lewd and inappropriate. Everything else in my world is ok, but I was running around in a tight ball all yesterday and JUST realized what is happening. It’s bringing up all the times I have been too much or inappropriate with my sexuality.

Can you relate?

There’s the times I was caught having sex, in a coat closet at a wedding, the bottom room of a boat on a whale watching tour: the stern shamey faces still stare down at me.

Being polyamorous before I knew about it, and getting ostracized by a whole community. Writing a letter to a beloved old friend from college about many things, activism and parenthood, and also my polyamory, and getting a Facebook message back requesting that I never contact him again, and how did I think his wife would feel?

All the times I didn’t have sex, was up in my head, didn’t lose myself in pleasure, because I didn’t want to be a slut or a ho.

A past primary partner flipping me off with both hands after I imperfectly honored the rules and boundaries he set for me on a date with a new lover, out in the street, spit flying and neighbors eavesdropping, “You’re out of control, Florie!” 

How his accusation found good company with my own internal voice, “See! That’s what I’ve been telling you. You’re out of control Florie! You’re fucking out of control.”

Add to that my rapist telling me he’d been planning on raping me ever since he saw me skinny dipping in a creek.

When you surrender to pleasure, flirt too much, or dress too slutty, or even talk about sex too much, you hurt people, lose people, and sometimes make them scary and even dangerous. (Says my inner protector.)

 

And I anticipate some reactive responses from writing this.

But you know what? Fuck it. For the rest of my life, I want to be as sexy and sexual as I want. I want to say yes to everything that feels good, within my integrity, without shame. I don’t want to apologize, or tone it down. Do flowers do that? No! Flowers be like, “Hello hummingbirds and bees! Come pollinate me!” 

For the rest of my life I want my sexuality to be completely my own, with no one entitled to or placing rules or restrictions on it. It is completely my own to give or not give. And I want to allow myself all the pleasures, of lying in bed listening to the rain, eating mangoes naked, making out for hours in soft clean sheets, smoking my bong under moonlight in my outdoor bath. Enjoying  the sexy swing of my hips, hoping it’s giving others pleasure. Watching the daffodil each day as it makes its way out of its sheath. Checking on the strawberries. What is more important than this? And why is it so hard to allow?

Why is it so hard to allow?

And how would things shift in you and the world at large if we, especially women, allowed more of it? What if all the women allowed themselves to be, as one of the Wild Women says, “well pleasured and well fucked?”

Let’s find out, and let’s support one another to break free from all this boxes.

Is there something exciting calling to you, asking you to step into a bigger, more powerful way of being?

This workshop will help you deeply access your intuition and journey to a vision of what is possible for you. You will connect authentically with others in a playful, soulful way, and leave with steps you can take towards manifesting a powerful five year Vision Map.

• Learn one of the most powerful tools to help you see the bigger, more meaningful story behind whatever you are going through so that you can make more empowered choices with your wise self as your guide.

• Get crystal clear about the unique gifts you have to offer the world and feel the confidence to share them.

• Get it into your bones that you are qualified enough, you are ready, your gifts are needed, and now is the time.

Free!

Saturday, October 12th
10am-1pm
Axis Mundi, Nevada City

Saturday, October 26th
10am-1pm
Studio Be, Napa

Saturday, November 23rd
3pm-6pm
Forest Love, Berkeley

Saturday, December 7th
10am-1pm
Village Homes, Davis

Learn more and register here.